I
have two friends who have adopted internationally. Both adopted very young children and have
really been blessed. I know a director
of an adoption agency in my hometown. I
emailed her and her response is below.
Hi Pamela,
My husband told me that you might be contacting me.
I’m sorry to say that the process of adopting a child while in country is a
difficult and costly one. It is difficult and costly if you were in the states
as well, but more so while residing in the country. You will need to have
a licensed agency, in the state your have permanent residency, provide you with
a home study. That could range from $1500 to $2500 depending on the
agency. This would be considered an independent international adoption,
which are very difficult to do. This is assuming the country allows
international adoption. We do not work in Nigeria, so I am unfamiliar
with the countries process or whether they allow adoptions.
I would also suggest doing a lot of reading and research on
adopting a child of color and adopting internationally. I am sure that
you and Clint have a lot of love for this child, but It takes more than love to
raise a children of color, especially an older child raised in an
institution. While most of our kids do pretty well in adoptive families,
it is not without a lot of training and support. It is a very different
kind of parenting since these kids come from a lot of loss. This child
you are interested in will have a lot of trauma he is and will be
experiencing. It isn’t impossible, it just is a lot of work.
I have attached a bibliography that we give out to our
parents before they adopt. It has a list of books and websites related to
adoption and specifically international adoption.
I am sorry that I couldn’t be more positive about
this. If after doing some more reading, you and Clint are still
interested in adopting, you will need to locate an attorney or agency that can
help you. Unfortunately these are not the type of adoptions we can
assist in. I would advise, if you decide to move forward, to be very
cautious as to who you enlist in assisting you in this process. Unfortunately,
not all attorneys and agencies are trust worthy and you need to be
careful. I would suggest first, checking to see if the country allows
adoption before you go further with this.
Hope this helps.
Take care.
The reading list is 5 pages long and the website list 3 pages long. That is good though because I do understand the importance of being informed and prepared. I heard from another friend that the immigration fees are huge also. It makes me so sad how much money it would cost to give this gift of love. We would have to make renovations to our home in the States too since he is in a wheelchair and we have steps leading to almost every room. I wish this could be simpler. I want to bring him home to my flat today and figure everything out as we go. Of course, I sound like a child myself with that statement. My heart is just breaking for him. I wish I was a wealthy person who had everything in place; a job where my home is in Oregon with good health insurance for starters. For now maybe we can arrange to tutor him before he leaves for the institutional school in Northern Nigeria. We could pen pal with him to stay in contact and maybe someday we could help him come to the US to attend college and he could stay with us. I am not ready to completely let this adoption idea go but until we have jobs in the States this seems impossible. We still have another year on our teaching contracts here in Nigeria. Clint doesn't know what to think about all this. I don't think that is a good sign. I know I could not do this on my own. I will keep praying for answers to why God led me to this child.
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