Many years ago while attending a church in
Eastern Washington my husband and I sought marriage counseling with our
pastor. He had some training in
psychology and asked us if we would be interested in finding out what our
personality traits were. It turns out we
are quite the opposite but really we were not surprised. Our pastor said I was a concrete sequential,
a kind of type A personality. I like to
be in control of everything. I am an
organized planner and get things done in advance of deadlines, I prefer to do
things in a specific order and I rarely consider thinking outside the box. I lock onto themes and ways of doing things
and have a hard time with change. In
some respects these character traits have served me well but in others they
have not.
One of my biggest lessons God has been
trying to teach me is to let go of my reigns and let him lead my path in all
areas of my life. I really get out of my
comfort zone when I don’t have my future plans nailed down. This could be anything from how I plan to
make my next mortgage payment to how I plan to teach the next subject in my
class and everything in between. I am
getting better at staying calm and being flexible but sometimes it feels like I
accept changes like I need an act of Congress to do it.
This month marks the anniversary of when I
learned I was not being retained for a third year in Barrow, AK. I had received good evaluations and
everything was going well in my classroom.
It made no sense to me and the HR director said they were not required to give
a reason. I had really settled in and
was totally enjoying my adventurous life in the Arctic. I had spent a large amount of money mailing
my favorite teaching materials and personal comforts to this small village
after getting retained for the second year and then suddenly I had nothing
figured out for my future. I cried so
hard it hurt. I was completely broken
hearted and disillusioned about teaching. My fellow
coworkers were mystified by the school districts decision but they all assured
me I was a good teacher. God didn’t
answer my prayer quickly but instead waited until I was nearly at the brink of
despair before he told me I could stay in teaching and where I was headed next.
At this same time I had been saving money
for a large upcoming medical bill.
Someone in my family needs an uncovered surgery next summer. I had to use most of what I had saved already
by the time I left for Africa. I was
angry God had allowed me to lose the best paying job I have ever had. I made more alone than Clint and I have ever made
together in a year. Why was this job
taken away from me at what appeared to be no fault of my own when I so
desperately needed the large income? God
knew I was ready to accept any job by the 1st of August. He knows me so well. It is a kind of romantic notion to teach in
Africa but it also meant I would lose my sense of security. Clint and I took large pay cuts to come here
but God knew it would be okay because we would be able to still put money aside
in our savings for the upcoming medical bill.
Living in a Third World country does not usually lend itself to places
to spend money. We are living a pretty
simple life here so our income for the most part can be sent home to
Oregon. So what appeared at first as an overwhelming fear of how I could save thousands of dollars ended up not
being as big of a problem as I had previously thought. Little by little we are getting there barring
no further big financial burdens. Of
course this is when when God decided to test my faith again. First the gas fireplace which heats my house in Oregon
where my son lives broke down, and then the truck my son drives needed new
brakes, then my husband lost a front tooth and then got seriously sick all in the month of January. But God unexpectedly blessed us with a good tax
return to replace some of this and got us back on track for this summer. I just needed another lesson on trusting in the Lord.
God is also working on my ability to be
flexible in my classroom. At the
beginning of the year, I discovered we had no construction paper or really any art
supplies at all available to use in my classroom beyond white paper and
crayons. I could not print all the
fabulous colored documents I had created over the years to use for my classroom
management and teaching aids. I was
lucky to print in black and white and I just learned once the toner cartridge
runs out there is not a new one to replace it.
My department in Early Years is the only one left with a working printer
right now. The copy machine broke down
this week and I was told there was no plan for fixing it right away. I could not even make the copies I needed
for our curriculum. Next week is the 100th
day of school so some of what I had planned to do had to be scrapped.
I continually have a mouse problem in my
classroom now. The photocopies I had of
the songs I sing all year were eaten and the corners of my big books for
science and social studies were chewed off as well. Will our story books be next? The generator at school broke down and we
were able to get a borrowed replacement from the government because of the
founder of our school; however, within a few days we were out of fuel and then
we were told the battery was broken. I
didn’t think a generator had a battery but I accepted their answer. The rains have started which means there are
a lot of cloudy days now. While I am
enjoying the slightly cooler weather the light coming in from the window of my
classroom is diminished. When the power
is out I can barely even see my student’s faces let alone read a story to
them.
These challenges don’t make me want to
scream anymore but I do still feel my blood pressure elevate at times. Overall, I am taking it one day at a time and
accepting each change I need to make. I
was happy to give almost all good reports to parents at the parent/teacher
conference this past week. I had at
least been successful at getting most of my class beyond the mid-year
kindergarten benchmark. I know the one
little sweetheart will get there. She
needs to believe in herself first. God
made me her teacher for a reason. I know
I can help her and that makes all the daily challenges I personally face seem
unimportant in comparison. It will all
work out if I let go and let God lead my path.
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